“Nothing builds hope more powerfully than knowing you still matter to someone”: Family ties matter if we want to end the revolving door
“My mum, she never cut contact with me through my addiction. And she always used to say, like, you can do it, you know, you can do it, you just got to, like, you know, lock in and do it.” – Lived experience member
In my previous life as a Probation Officer I have been in close proximity to many people attending prison visits.
In visitors’ centres alone it is often striking to see just how difficult and uncomfortable visiting a friend or relative is often made. Lockers too small for the things needing to go in them, like baby bags and heavy winter coats. Signs designed to frighten visitors out of bringing drugs onto the premises that are enough to give nightmares to an adult, never mind a child. Long queues outside the prison, which mean visitors are left waiting in the rain.
Then there are the people who are barred entry – often for spurious reasons. I recall seeing a woman in a wheelchair and her daughter who had travelled on public transport from some distance away, no doubt at significant financial cost and with delays. Arriving ten minutes late to the visiting start time after having undertaken the 25-minute walk from the station to the prison, I saw them pleading to be allowed in but ultimately being turned away.
I have also taken many calls from distressed relatives unable to find out what prison their relative is in, unable to arrange a visit or worried about the wellbeing of their loved one. Similarly, I’ve seen many people in prison frantic about the welfare of those they have left in the community, including young children.
In short, the system – whether willingly or through thoughtlessness – treats those with relatives in the criminal justice system with contempt, bestowing ‘punishment’ on them in the way it does those who are convicted.
New HMIP report highlights important of family contact in prison
“For me, it’s just breaking generational cycles and just ending it with me and making sure that they grow up to be normal, whatever that is, do you know, and just having a chance in life that I never did.” – Lived experience member
Against the backdrop of all of this, I was sad but not surprised to read the findings of HMIP’s new report, ‘Safety, well-being and hope: The untapped potential of family contact in prisons’.
It found that:
- Too many jails were failing to get the basics right, making it difficult for families to book visits, get to the establishment, and access financial support. When prisoners first arrived in jail it took too long for family members to find out where they were held and to be able to contact them – at a time when prisoners were often at their most vulnerable.
- Prisons rarely involved families in supporting men and women at risk of self-harm or violence, and families could not always get through to prisons by telephone to tell them about welfare and safety concerns.
- Family provision was too often seen as a ‘nice to have’ rather than an essential element in a prisoner’s journey through custody and towards resettlement.
Lord Farmer and strengthening prisoners’ family ties
“I’ve got two sons in their early 20s. It’s having a light at the end of the tunnel to things some positivity, some way out.” – Lived experience member
The findings of the report are particularly gruelling when placed in the context of the recommendations made in Lord Farmer’s 2017 report, ‘The Importance of Strengthening Prisoners’ Family Ties to Prevent Reoffending and Reduce Intergenerational Crime’.
Lord Farmer reached the conclusion that good family relationships are indispensable to rehabilitation. Quoting the Ministry of Justice’s own research, he reported that for a prisoner who receives visits from a family member the odds of reoffending were 39% lower than for those who do not.
He went on to say:
“The clearest finding from my work – and the conclusion of Her Majesty’s Inspectorates of Prison and Probation and others – is that there is an unacceptable inconsistency of respect for the role families can play in boosting rehabilitation and assisting in resettlement across the prison estate.
If prisons are truly to be places of reform, we cannot ignore the reality that a supportive relationship with at least one person is indispensable to a prisoner’s ability to get through their sentence well and achieve rehabilitation.”
The cruelty of system failures in family contact
“I’ve got three very fearful, young, resilient women. They’re 17, 19 and 23. I know they’re proud that I can break that cycle and they don’t have to go through. addiction, abuse, you know, showing them that this is what you don’t except with men and drugs and things like that. And so far, they’re beautiful women, they’re excelling in life.” – Lived experience member
The failure of the criminal justice system to make any progress in this area is frankly (excuse the pun) criminal. The MoJ’s own evidence on the impact on those in prison is indisputable.
Our own members at Revolving Doors tell us that community and belonging are key components of recovery – and that they are living testimony to this. We would also add that families of those in prison, including children, are often traumatised by the inability to have contact with parents and family members. This punishment of families for the wrongdoing of their relatives is barbarous.
Of course, there are situations where it’s inappropriate for children and other family members to have contact with relatives in the criminal justice system. But, in the main people benefit from having contact with their family. Incarceration is already a punishment. To then obstruct contact is cruel and often devastating. It is imperative that the recommendations of the new HMIP report are implemented, as a priority.
In a digital age, it is ludicrous that it remains so difficult for families to remain in contact with those who are incarcerated. HMPPS policy states that establishments should have sufficient credit to provide “up to 60 minutes of secure social video calling per month” for each person, with governors able to authorise additional free calls in “exceptional circumstances”. In practice, however, most prisoners were offered only a single 30‑minute video call each month, often scheduled at times that were inconvenient for families. At one prison with more than 600 people in custody, calls were limited to a single weekday afternoon, resulting in just 109 video calls being made over the entire previous year.
Organisations leading the way on family contact
There are some projects across the country showing good practice which can be learned from. Storybook Dads, where fathers in prison are recorded reading a story for their children to play at home, shows how much parents and children value the opportunity to continue ordinary experiences together when apart, and the pandemic showed that contact can be maintained through digital means. The HMIP report praised HMP Ashfield, where prisoners said the video call service was well promoted and that they particularly valued being able to read stories to their children. Similarly, at HMP Oakwood, evening video‑call sessions allowed prisoners to read bedtime stories, attend parents’ evenings with teachers, and speak with partners during or shortly after childbirth.
Charity Pact deliver specialist social work support at HMP Eastwood Park and HMP Send, providing personalised care to 66 women. This support helps them navigate the profound trauma of separation from their children and strengthened the connection between the prison and community social services. The social workers offer intensive one‑to‑one support, enabling women to participate meaningfully in decisions about their children, speak for themselves in court, and understand the processes shaping their family lives. They also act as a crucial bridge to community social workers, particularly where there may be hesitation about facilitating contact or visits. As a result, 133 children were able to build and maintain stronger relationships with their mothers.
Hope and community: a path out of the revolving door
“Hope for me is being trusted with your children and being seen as more than your worst moment.” – Lived experience member
Through our members’ experiences we know that community, belonging and the hope of maintaining or rebuilding relationships are central to rehabilitation. They say connection is often the only stabilising force when caught in the revolving door. When the system blocks contact through bureaucracy, indifference or poor design, it doesn’t just inconvenience families; it actively undermines rehabilitation and extinguishes hope. But when contact is valued, and relationships and community are valued, people can gain security and self-belief to keep going towards change.
If we are serious about reducing reoffending, family contact must be embedded and prioritised across the system, not rationed or treated as a privilege. Nothing builds hope more powerfully than knowing you still matter to someone.
Prisons and the Prison Service must take the necessary steps towards a system that supports rehabilitation, protects and values families.
“I didn’t change because I was punished enough. I changed because someone believed in me.”
